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12:59 PM, Feb 27, 2006 tweet this
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It's Back
Since 2003, I think I have really let myself go. Even my grandfather says to me, "you're not getting much exercise down in Kansas City, are you?" My exercise, as the two or three of you that watched my site at the time may have noticed, kind of fell off by mid July of that year. I went from going for a short run, about four or five days every week, to maybe squeezing one in every other week, before I just stopped altogether.

One unfortunate side effect of that was that my appetite, which had recently very heavily increased, did not subside, as my new metabolism required about 1/3 more fuel than before, I was now eating 1/3 more food, and not burning it off with precious exercise. I pretty quickly went from my "sort-of-in-shape" weight of 225, up to my present weight, about 255.

I'm only six-foot-one. 255 is way to much to weigh. I don't like how it looks, or how it feels, and worse, I think it's making the opposite sex overlook me, physically.

Therefore, for the sake of my health, my comfort, my happiness, and my vanity, I'm exercising again. To chronicle this, as I once did, I have reopened the Lard section of bahua dot com.

1:25 PM, Feb 27, 2006 tweet this
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Day One
I somehow hurt my foot last fall, playing kickball. The problem eventually just kind of went away, with the help of a new habit I took up, of going for long walks around town. But I was still a little leery about going for a run today, as the only tests of putting any real weight on my supposedly injured foot have been quick little darts across the street, and so on.

But, today, I ran from my door to Jefferson St, along 11th, walked for a bit, and then ran a lap of the path in Case Park, for a total running distance of perhaps a quarter of a mile. I intentionally took it easy, as the first week or so, I have decided, will be devoted to acclimating my body to the rigors of exercise, after two years of relative inactivity.

Another decision I have made, is that I will be eliminating fast food from my diet, and I will be generally avoiding beef.

It's all for the best.

1:13 PM, Feb 28, 2006 tweet this
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Sophomore Effort
It's about 75 degrees outside, so I went for another short run today. I walked all the way to Case Park, ran one lap of the park path, and was too winded to run anymore, and "high speed walked" another lap, before I walked home. Baby steps, they say. I'm just trying to get my garbage bag of a body accustomed to exercise, and easing it along it the best idea, I think.

It's amazing how great I feel after I get any exercise. I came home happily sweaty, and with my heart beating at a frightening pace(the tingling means it's working!), and jumped in the shower. I also love how after exercising, the shower feels great, regardless of the temperature of the water.

I am now enjoying a fruit juice and some music. I highly recommend Broken Social Scene's self-titled album for running.

11:37 AM, Mar 6, 2006 tweet this
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A Short Absence
I need to remember, the next time I undertake something like this, to realize that late February is not typically a time of 70-degree sunny weather. I kind of fell off running, since my last post, as the weather returned, more or less, to its normal behavior. It warmed back up into the 60s yesterday, but I was busy sitting around being lazy. I didn't even really eat yesterday.

Today was still a little colder than I'd have liked, but nevertheless, I donned my grubby shorts and a too-small t-shirt that reads, "LAPTOPS SUCK," on it, and hit the streets. I pushed myself a little too hard, today, and gave myself a bit of a headache, and some pain in my lower back. If I had kept pushing, I would be coughing uncontrollably, right now.

I'm still working on the balance issue, but when I'm not paying attention, I still put a lot more weight on my right foot than my left. I'll work on it.

10:42 PM, Mar 8, 2006 tweet this
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A Little Longer
I prefaced today's run with a couple of situps, and an actual session of stretching. During said stretch, a horrible cramplike pain shot me in the right side, and never fully subsided until, surprisingly, I started running. Perhaps my nervous system thought it more important to scream at me through my legs and lower back than from the wrenched pseudo-muscles in my right side.

I was able to run farther today than on previous days, but still in the grand scope of fitness, it was a pitiful run. Probably a grand total of a quarter-mile was covered in the actual running part. Nevertheless, it was an improvement, and the mile or so walk there and back was a good warmup and cooldown.

9:37 PM, Mar 13, 2006 tweet this
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Maybe Some Other Time
The temperature hasn't broken 40 degrees yet today. I am not running in this.

7:45 PM, Mar 15, 2006 tweet this
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An Unreasonable Trade
I walked a couple miles down to the Brewery at 25th and Southwest Boulevard, today. That'll have to do. I was sick.

Tomorrow, I promise you a real run. If proof of it doesn't surface, you have my permission to come and tase me.

10:36 AM, Mar 30, 2006 tweet this
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Getting Wet
Winter gave us a reprise for the last week or two, rendering me completely unable to run. I understand that the body heat generated by running will keep the runner warm, but I am currently so out of shape that I can't maintain a running pace for more than a minute or two, meaning that if I ran in the cold, I would get cold. Dangerously cold. So, in my out-of-condition condition, I can only run when the temperature is moderately comfortable. It's just under 70 right now, so I went for a run today.

About one lap of the park into my run the 20-mph winds were combined with pelting rain, which then gave way to steady rain. Not excited about getting struck by lightning, I ran home, and got drenched en route. Nevertheless, my heart is still pounding, and I'm still breathing heavily.

10:39 PM, Apr 12, 2006 tweet this
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A Warm Run
I went for a run today, and at Carl's request, I'm writing about it. It still sucks, but it still feels good to be exercised afterward, especially in the shower, which I will use momentarily. It's going to be in the eighties today, and it was already well over seventy when I went out, but while running today, I got hot. I was able to run for more time than on previous runs, and I didn't feel at all like coughing when I got out of breath. I guess I must be getting into better shape.

3:13 PM, May 2, 2006 tweet this
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May As Well, I'm Already Stinky
While it's certainly true that I've been getting plenty of accidental, everyday, "natural" exercise, it's been entirely too long since I did any deliberate, painful exercise. I went golfing for work today, and came home sweaty, so I figured that since the weather is freaking incredible outside(blue skies, light breeze, upper seventies, everything's green), I should just go out for a real run and get sweaty for real. I ran most of the way to Case Park: a minor achievement for my fat ass, and got an appraising look from a pretty girl walking her puppy. Maybe she just liked my EFF shirt.

Anyway, I'ma go shower now.

5:06 PM, May 24, 2006 tweet this
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A Running Partner
I walked over to 10th and Broadway, where I met up with Kelly. We ran from there down to 17th and Baltimore- actually, we ran from there to 12th and Wyandotte and walked to 17th and Baltimore -and then ran from 17th and Baltimore up the hill to Broadway. That part was hell. We rounded off the walk, by continuing on to Summit and walking that back into downtown. It's excellent to have a running partner. It was excellent with Joel back in Midtown, and it's excellent with Kelly now. She's in much better shape than I'm in, but she's patient, and happy to just keep up the chatter and walk on.

8:46 PM, Jun 7, 2006 tweet this
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Grit
Today, instead of the customary run, Kelly and I met at my house, and proceeded to walk down to the West Bottoms and climb all over piled rubble and tetanus-wielding rebar, more than able to run someone through when they slip and fall on the plentiful loose rocks and gravel. We averted disaster, but instead got really sweaty and climbed up and down through contiguous construction zones and derelict bridge underpinnings.

We emerged back into civilization in the exploding West Side, which is a close-in neighborhood that's trying and failing, to remain predominantly hispanic. It was a long dirty walk, with lots of foliage scratches, rubble slides, and near misses. We got back and drank some beer. So it all works out.

11:52 AM, Jun 13, 2006 tweet this
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Inadvertent Exercise
I met Kelly in front of her place last night, and Terra joined us soon afterward, and we walked to JP's Wine Bar, down on Walnut, just south of downtown. Jeff met us there. It was wonderful! The atmosphere, the service, the selection, and the food all combine to create a very nice bit of ambiance. After that, the four of us walked around the Crossroads, Union Station, The Liberty Memorial, Penn Valley Park, and back home, for a total of about five miles. I was pretty badly saturated with sweat when I got home, and had to change all my clothes. I hadn't planned on getting any exercise, because of my injured heel, but a five mile walk over the undulating streets and sidewalks of the neighborhood just south of downtown will definitely serve well.

8:49 PM, Jun 19, 2006 tweet this
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4.87 Miles
June 19th I met up with Kelly and Terra for a walk tonight. Even though I had previously agreed to meet them both at my front door, I had completely forgotten about it, and started walking to Kelly's place. When I had gotten about twenty steps from my front door, Terra drove by, right in front of me. Processes started firing off in my head.

So I called her, and she asked me what the hell I was doing, as she promptly reminded me of the plans I had made. I turned in my path, went back to my door, and waited for the ladies. Terra came around the block after parking, shortly, but we waited a short while for Kelly, so we each grabbed a beer and sat outside, waiting for her. Kelly ambled up a few minutes later, and we were underway. We went through the West Side, looking at the pretty Mexican homes, parks, murals, galleries, schools, and whatnot.

When we reached 20th St, I insisted that we not walk back up the hellish hill we had just descended, as the spots on my shirt had congealed into a pangaea of sweat, both of the front and the back. So, we walked over to Locust, and stepped into Grinders for a halfway drink and a bite to eat. From there, we came back north, and found that in all the construction hubbub, that KC's only Toynbee tile has been either removed or destroyed.

From there, we walked up Grand to the River Market, where in our stupid rock-kicking game, I almost broke the front window at River Market Brewing Company as we passed. Terra had to pee something fierce, so we called on Erp and Jay at their place on the west side of the River Market area. We hung out there for a bit, and everybody had a smoke. Not me of course. I think that crap is disgusting.

We discussed upcoming travel plans, kickball, and the general state of the world. It was actually very, very nice. After perhaps twenty minutes, we shuffled along, in the general direction of a point somewhere between Kelly's place and mine, in Quality Hill. On the way, we made sure to cross the highway on the old abandoned streetcar bridge that feeds into May St. On the way over, I windshielded a speeding Grand Am with a big sticky loogie. I was very proud.

When we reached 10th St, we made to part ways, and Kelly remembered that she'd left all her personal effects at my place, including her treasured ipod device. So we all walked up to my apartment, got some water, exchanged gross sweaty hugs, and retired in our various directions. I directed myself directly into the shower.

It was a lovely evening.

12:42 PM, Aug 2, 2006 tweet this
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To 17th
After my little sprint yesterday, and the fact that I've been playing kickball and softball for over a month without any major problems, I've decided that my heel is in good enough shape to endure some deliberate jogging again. And, now that it's comfortably back down in the 90s, outside, I further decided that today was as good a day as any to get back out there for a run.

So, I ran down Baltimore, on and off, to 17th, over to Summit, and back up to downtown. The uphill parts were generally not run, in favor of a brisk purposeful uphill, orc-style march. When I got back downtown, I was awash with sweat. My underpants looked like I rather enjoy peeing myself. I guess I just have a really sweaty crotch.

Enjoy your lunch.

6:58 AM, Oct 4, 2006 tweet this
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An Exhibition Walk
Kelly and I walked to Terra's new place last night. She informed me that I was to choose the route. Terra lives in Roanoke, so I chose Southwest Boulevard as the main route. Kelly then berated me for choosing such a "roundabout" way. As you'll see however, from the map below, it was not an extended route.

route


The untrained eye will see a normal walk of a couple miles from my house to Terra's house in Midtown(the black smudge, denoted in brown with "T's"). And that's exactly what it was until we took a wrong turn. Do you see that straight north and south part that runs to the right of the big brown "T?" That's the most horrible hill I've walked in some time. Kelly took it with ease, and cruelly always stayed about a step ahead of me, goading me on.

While climbing this god-damned hill, my activity-induced asthma threatened to return after two years in "remission," as I began wheezing uselessly. I was breathing faster than I do when I run, and I was definitely more tired than when I run. We reached the top, and my fingers felt like sausages. To my dismay, however, it turned out we could have taken the much more gentle hill through Roanoke Park to get to Terra's, but what's done is done. Now we know.

We hung out with Terra for a bit, and I got a little dizzy from paint and varnish fumes. After we were there for perhaps forty minutes, Kelly and I said good-night, and started walking over to Broadway to catch the 51 back downtown. Every time I'm in Roanoke, I tell myself that I'm not going to get lost on their streets to nowhere, but as soon as I say that, I get lost. The streets wind maddeningly away from the direction you want to go, as they skirt the sunken park.

After negotiating the crazy winding streets of Roanoke, Kelly and I emerged at Roanoke and Valentine, and I knew exactly where we were. We walked through Coleman Highlands, Valentine, and came out near the MAX stop(the 51 was an unmarked bust) at Main and Armour. We took the bus back downtown, and I got to try out my new bus pass.

I took the most excellent shower in recent memory when I got home.

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