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The place was awash with Red Sox fans. Many held signs in a shameless attempt to be broadcast on closed-circuit television.

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This model citizen drew his idea of what comes to mind when hearing the word Splutschnik: a second-grader's conception of a hairy dong. After Audrey and Megan responded unfavorably to his advances, he submitted that the Quaff probably wouldn't admit, our kind. He was a winner.
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